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“Let’s empower our children to remain true to themselves, so they don’t have to grow up and have a crisis to remember who they are.”

 – Aypril Porter, best-selling author of Parenting The Child You Have: Re-Imagining The Parent-Child Relationship Through The Lens of Human Design


Today Karen Curry Parker, co-founder of GracePoint Publishing and leading expert in Human Design, hosts the GracePoint Publishing podcast with bestselling Human Design author  Aypril Porter!

Aypril released her first book with GracePoint Publishing in 2022 to stellar reviews and a #1 bestselling status. In Parenting The Child You Have, Aypril walks the reader through raising a child using the perspective of Human Design. All children are unique and there is no one-size-fits-all plan that will work for every child and parent.

Are you unfamiliar with the practice of Human Design? Aypril’s book also serves as a great introduction to the concepts of this amazing system!

 

If you’re a parent, if you know any kids, if you’re interested in Human Design, don’t miss this episode! Listen to it here.

Aypril Porter is on a mission to help her readers and clients live deep, rich, and authentic lives by giving themselves permission to live according to their Human Design. A recovering self-sabotaging, people-pleasing, rebel mama, Aypril learned the hard way that not living an authentic life is a fast track to burnout, bitterness, and dissatisfaction. When her first child was born, Aypril dedicated herself to her family wholeheartedly, and perhaps she took it a touch too far because when her kids were just two and four, she hit her first turning point thanks to a sudden panic attack. This was her wake-up call. She learned that life shocks us back onto our path when we need it most and that as difficult as it can be, we have a choice in how we respond to it. Her 10-year journey back to herself has led her to the career she has now and her drive to help others live their authentic lives so that they can live a life of purpose, freedom, and joy. A Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, Certified Courageous Living Life Coach, a Quantum Human Design Specialist, and a Quantum Alignment Practitioner, Aypril Porter believes that your authentic life is available to you, no matter your age (from 2 to 102).

You can connect with Aypril on her website, www.ayprilporter.com.

Find Parenting the Child You Have on Amazon at https://amzn.to/3mAYJAI or wherever you get your books.

 

Keep writing. Keep creating. Your words matter.

 

Find out how to begin your own book publishing journey at www.gracepointpublishing.com

Produced by Number Three Productions, www.numberthreeproductions.com

Full Transcript

Intro 

Welcome to the GracePoint Publishing podcast. Join us on a journey with our authors as they explain the meanings behind their message, discuss what inspires them to write and share the MIDI parts of their book publishing journey. And now, here’s your host, best selling Human Design author and co founder of Gracepoint publishing, Karen curry Parker.Karen 

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the GracePoint Publishing podcast. I am here today with April Porter, author of Parenting the Child You Have: Reimagining the Parent-Child Relationship Through the Lens of Human Design. You, April, have written the parenting book about human design, which is a book that a lot of people have been waiting for, for literally decades. So I want to hear just a little bit about what inspired you in the first place to write a parenting book about human design, or rather human design book about parenting, maybe it’s a better way of putting it.

April 

Yeah, I found so much value in human design for my kids that I’ve been using it for the last seven years with my family with myself, it’s helped me so much that I have a couple of friends who had children during this pandemic, and getting to meet them and the state of the world and seeing how everything was going. I just had this opportunity to sit with these parents who were vaguely aware of human design or more experienced in human design and talk to them about their kids. It was like I had so much to say, I had this invitation as a projector, I had this invitation to share some human design knowledge. And so I went home and I thought I’m gonna write something up for this parent and give them this information, the things that I wish I had known. And I came home and I started writing and I kept writing. And then I kept writing and I kept writing. And I had so much to say that within I don’t know, a couple hours, I had like 3000 words, and then it just kept growing and growing. So it just kind of took on a life of its own.

Karen 

I’m curious how old are your kids?

April 

My kids are now 12 and 14.

Karen 

And what are their types?

April 

They are both projectors.

Karen 

And you’re a projector?

April 

Mm hmm.

Karen 

So you have like this major projector family?

April 

Yes. And my mom lives with us who is also a projector and my husband’s a manifester. So nary a sacral in the house, we can chill out pretty well.

Karen 

So I’m curious, what have you learned as a parent of projectors, what’s some of the most important information that human design has given you as a mother?

April 

I think looking at my own childhood, and the ways that I felt unseen and then heard, and I tried to include myself in places where that invitation just wasn’t there. And not knowing that as a kid, there was a lot of pain for me. So I’m able to see that with my kids and where they are trying to push with their energy and where they are feeling left out or they’re feeling like they’re not being heard. And to help them navigate that. And help them to understand that their energy works just a little bit differently, and that they have to wait for that recognition so that they don’t become bitter. Because I see that show up – that pushy, bossy bitterness, can show up when kids don’t feel recognized and heard.

Karen 

What I really want to do is dive in and go into middle school and projectors. But I’m going to skip that topic for now. Because that whole recognition thing in middle school is quite fascinating. Here’s what I want to explore with you. Two things. Number one, talk to me for just a minute about being a projector parent. And how is that for you? Because we just interviewed Evelyn Levinson talking about the empowered projector. And we know that projectors don’t have the same quality of energy as some of the other types. And I’ve heard from many projector parents that parenting can sometimes be exceptionally exhausting. So talk to me about your experience as a projector parent and things that you might guide or support other projector parents in knowing.

April 

My experience was I hit crash and burn. Big time. When my kids were two and four, I hit a level of burnout that I could not get off the couch. Literally could not get off the couch. I had to nap between watching my kids. It was really a scary time for me because I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know human design then. I had been pushing myself and I had these ideas of what a good mom should be. And all of the things that I’m supposed to do air quotes and all of those, and I couldn’t sustain it. I just couldn’t do it. And I had a child who had food sensitivities and issues that were coming up and the doctors were not giving me answers. And so I spent a lot of my time researching. I was digging in trying to find other parents who were dealing with the same things. And I just went full into that and I neglected my own needs, I didn’t take time for myself, I felt like anytime that I had should be for my kids, I became a stay at home mom and I had a whole identity crisis. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was mom, I was a wife. And I didn’t have anything left for me. And so I think that that’s the biggest thing that I would tell a projector parent is make sure you are taking time for yourself, and that you are getting that rest and nourishment that you need, as well as just time away so that you can come back and be that parent that you want to be.

Karen 

And that’s probably good advice for a lot of parents.

April 

But I think exceptionally so for projecter parents and I love that you addressed the idea of being the parent you should be because I find a lot of parents, depending on type can show up at different qualities of speed, if you will, or even in different ways. And I think when we look at societal norms and societal prescriptions around what is quote, unquote, good parenting, that leaves a lot of types, energetic types by the wayside, trying to figure out if I don’t have the energy to sustain that kind of parenting. What does that mean for me as a parent? Am I a bad parent? And my children going to not be okay, what does that mean? What do you tell parents when they’re trying to navigate a course for themselves beyond just take care of yourselves? How do you help parents step out of that recrimination and that self judgment, we spent a lot of time talking about type and energy and what our needs are. And so when we look at a family, we’re looking at the parents first parents come in because there’s an issue that’s coming up with their child. But the problem doesn’t originate with the child, the problem originates with, how is the parent handling themselves? What were they raised with? What are their ancestral patterns? And how can we break those so that we can let that parent from a place that works for them, and then allow that child to be themselves?

Karen 

I think that’s beautiful, because what I’m hearing you say is that not saying that all challenges and families are only a result of the parenting, but that maybe looking at parenting first, is an essential thing to do?

April 

Right, because we all carry stories, we all have experiences that we either liked, or we didn’t like growing up, and we either want to replicate them, or we want to avoid them at all costs. It even comes up in food, we have foods that we like, and so we prepare those foods and we give those to our kids. And then one day we realize, Oh my gosh, I hate mayonnaise. And my child loves mayonnaise, you know, someone gave it to him, and it’s their new favorite food. And he thought, Well, I never would have considered giving him that because I don’t like it. I wouldn’t think he would like it.

Karen 

Yeah, totally. So if you were gonna sit down and off the top of your head two sentences for what parents should know about each of the types, what would you say?

April 

Oh, I think that I would just break it down into the sacral and the non sacral types first, because I think that is where we can come in. And we can make a big difference. When we look at energy, who has more energy that’s sustainable. The sacral types have that renewable resource of energy every day, they need to burn it off, they need to use up that energy in the day. They also need more direct questions that are those yes, no questions. And then the non sag girls need more rest, more downtime, more inward reflection and the opportunity to be heard. They need questions that are open ended so that they can speak and hear themselves and understand what it is that they’re trying to say. That’s probably the biggest point I would make first before diving specifically into individual types, especially because families can have lots of different types in it. So if we break it down into these two groups, then we can start to parent in slightly different ways without feeling overwhelmed. So what would you tell a projector or an open sacral parent who has a sacral child beyond the questions? How would you support them in managing their energy differently playdates?

Karen 

I love that. That’s perfect. Okay, so let’s flip that around. What would you say the secondary thing to really know about children who have an open sacral, I think just that that needs to be heard. They need to be invited to be recognized, and to help them see what they are really great at, what they’re naturally gifted at, and where their recognition will come from. If you can see that in them, you can help them bring that out and recognize that those are the things that they need to be focusing not on what anyone else is doing, or comparing themselves with everybody else. We’ve talked a lot about tight. Let’s talk for just a minute about lines in profiles and the different ways that different kids learn and behave in the world. So there are six lines in the profiles. Each line has a different personality. Let’s talk about the first line what are children’s who have first line energy need, oh, they need a lot of information. They need a lot of resources. They need a library card. That’s what they need. It

April 

And second line, second lines need to be allowed to explore on their own and have quiet time to nourish those things that they’re learning. Third lines, they need to get their hands in there and explore, they need to try, they need to try all the things in all the different ways. Fourth lines are times need to know what’s coming next, they need to know four steps ahead what we’re going to be doing or what the expectation is or where we’re trying to go. So they need information. Yeah, yeah. As the fourth line, I agree.

Karen 

And I’m not a kid, fifth lines, fifth lines, I’ve got a five two profiles. So this one, I know, well, and I would say that the fifth line, want to help, they want to help all the time. And that can easily overtake what they do, they become the helper and they can wear themselves out. And they can also get themselves into positions where people expect things of them, or the project onto them, that things are a certain way, or relationships or certain ways. So there has to be a lot of understanding there of what their role is another challenging thing for middle schoolers.

April 

Six lines, while six times are going to be third lines, most of our parenting years. So again, exploration and experimentation and finding out what they like, what works, what doesn’t, and trying things. So as a parent, one of the other things we oftentimes have to contend with is misbehavior. Our kids don’t always do what we tell them to do, right?

Karen 

What are some of the reasons? Then you can lay this out a little bit in your book, why kids misbehave? What are they doing when they misbehave, they’re trying to get our attention. They’re trying to get needs met, that they don’t even necessarily understand that they have. It’s not an intellectual process that’s happening. It’s a basic need, that’s not being met, they’re not feeling seen. They’re not feeling heard. They’re not feeling valued. They’re not feeling lovable. They’re not sure what their place is in the family or the world even sometimes. And so they’re asking you to show them that they are lovable, that they have value, that they have important things to share with the world and that they have a place in your home and a place in the world. That’s beautifully said. Thank you. So if you like walked into the delivery room, and there’s a brand new family with a brand new baby in their arms, what are you going to tell them at the beginning of their parenting journey? I’m gonna say what time were they born? First of all?

April 

I would say, oh, my gosh, there’s so much that you want to say in that moment, and it’s so overwhelming. But I would just encourage them to have an open heart. Have a curious mindset and explore with that child and learn with them. Because they’re going to teach you more through their experience than I think that we learn through our own lives, walk into the delivery room, get the birth time run their chart, and then tell them to listen with their heart. I love that. One last question. adolescence.

Karen 

How do you support open sacral children during adolescence, they come home, they feel unseen and unheard at school. No one’s been asking for their insights and opinions. They feel judged invisible. They’re not in the in crowd, what do you tell them?

April 

That’s kind of dear to my heart, because I have one. And those days are hard. They’re really hard. And that’s where we go into more of this. nourishment of who are you? And what are you here for and teaching them that when we wait for the right timing, the right people will hear us and we will feel so recognized and so valuable, that it’s worth waiting, it’s worth just playing your quiet part and just waiting for the right time because the right people will see you and those friendships and those connections will be invaluable to you. There may not be as many of them as some other types may have or other people. But it’s not about the quantity. It’s about the quality. I do have actually one last question. In a time when there feels like there’s a lot of upheaval in the world and you have two projectors, children at home who I’m sure are feeling a lot of the energy on the planet because that’s the nature of the projector. How do you guide and support them? When things feel really unsettled? Well, we unplug more. We try and stay away from the news as a constant barrage of what’s going on in the world. Not to say ignoring it, but not constantly taking it in and try and find more ways to play and be creative and draw and create things and explore. Get out and connect as much as possible with the people that are in your life and with nature. I think that nature really brings us back to that place of feeling grounded and secure in a way that sitting at home and listening to the news or being on social media and interacting with friends who are also having their own fears and other things Amplified is not helpful. So nature’s a great way to counterbalance that. That sounds like a good option. April’s book is called parenting the child you have reimagining the parent child relationship through the lens of human design, you can learn more about April’s work at her website and I’m gonna spell this for you because you don’t spell your name April like the month. So it’s April Porter and that’s a y p r i l Porter, p o r t e r.com. on her website, she’s got all kinds of other resources and things for you as a parent, you can buy April’s book on Amazon, Barnes and Noble. It’s available in a couple of different formats. Any last minute words you’d like to share with parents today? April, before we go? I would just say stay open to the possibility. Stay curious and have an open mind and everything that comes up in your parenting journey. Because not everything is what it seems. And we have a predetermined way of experiencing what we think is going to happen. And if we can step back from that and just be curious. There’s a whole lot of possibility that can happen. I love that. Thank you. Thank you for joining us today, April.

Outro 

Thank you for joining us on this episode of the GracePoint Publishing authors podcast. We can’t wait to talk more next time as we introduce you to another one of our amazing authors. Make sure you hit subscribe on your favorite podcasting platform so you never miss a single episode of The Gracepoint publishing authors podcast. To find out more about our authors and to see how we can help you publish your book. Head to Gracepoint publishing.com. Keep writing. Keep creating your word matter.

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