On International Women’s Day, this week’s Matrix Show focuses on women-owned businesses and how they are making a powerful, and ever-growing impact on the world! Join Michelle and Karen to discuss the importance of women in business.
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Full Transcript
Intro
Welcome to The Matrix World, your go to resource for applicable real world tips and insights to help you create a successful sustainable, mission based business. Hosted by Karen Curry Parker and Michelle Vandepas, you can subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, YouTube, or any other podcast platform and learn more about our virtual co-working community at the Matrix.world.
Karen
So hi, everybody, we are going to be talking today, we’re taking a little pause in our virtual Think Tank presentations. And we’ve got, we still have some really amazing interviews that we are so excited to share with you over the next couple of weeks. But we thought we’d take a pause today and honor women and women in business. And the other than this, of course, being International Women’s Day, we really kind of got triggered as women in business recently. A lot to me, I am the I’m being nice to me, because we’ve actually been talking a lot about well, we’ve been using a lot of very rich language that I would never use in front of my nine year old recently around business. And, and women in business. And part of what triggered this is Michelle went to a marketing seminar, which I’ll go into details in a second. And she brought back somehow I don’t know where you came across this article, this article in Entrepreneur Magazine that listed top 10 entrepreneur masterminds. And guess what do you want to fill in the details, Michelle? Who who are leading all the masterminds?
Michelle
I’m gonna use my language carefully.
Karen
Yes.
Michelle
Giant, successful entrepreneurial men, who are the ones that are leaning against their private jets and Rolls Royces. So they are successful, but I don’t relate. Right. So.
Karen
Well, and I think it wasn’t just that, that they were that these are men in business, who we don’t relate to. But that in this top 10 list of high end business masterminds, there was not listed a single woman group or a single mastermind leader. And I know from having been in this business for 35 years, and you know, from having been in this business for at least 35 years, and probably more, there are actually women in business running mastermind groups.
Michelle
There are including us.
Karen
Yep.
Michelle
And, um
Karen
Successful women.
Michelle
Yes. And, you know, that’s just one of the many things that’s triggered me about this industry, this online marketing male dominated industry, which I think is not necessarily male dominant needed at all. I think they’re just the ones willing to really put themselves out there. And not care what anyone else thinks. And I think as women, so you know, I get my feelings hurt. I do, right? And I’m not supposed to get my feelings hurt, but someone sends me a nasty email. I get my feelings hurt. And I think as women that shuts us down, rather than keeping it in perspective, we tend to shut down and so we maybe don’t just put ourselves out there as much as some of these men.
Karen
Well, I think, you know, I like to do research and so in response to some of the conversations we had, I thought, let me go do some research on women entrepreneurs. Because I will say that the other part that I personally have not related to is I don’t relate to gender discrimination. I don’t think I’ve ever really encountered that in my business now don’t say I haven’t walked along the street and had all that other stuff have been that’s been part of my regular life on a daily basis. Still is okay, but the in business I’ve never encountered sexism, okay, that I’m aware of in the way that I know that if I had been that I did experience as a nurse, I only worked as a ward nurse for six months, but I experienced terrible sexism. I had people physicians, asked me to take out the trash in their, in their, you know, their, their restroom, whatever, though it wasn’t a restaurant but it was their, their little coffee room. Like I’m out here saving people’s lives and you want me to take out your trash. You know, I’ve had that experience. But that was that’s something I never experienced as an entrepreneur. So I began I really was looking at what’s what’s going on in the world of entrepreneurial Wisdom and women. And here’s I’m just gonna read this stuff to you because I think it’s really important. And I want to make sure that we shift our attention towards creating and not being mad because I’m still mad. Okay. All right.
Michelle
We’ll get over it. You and I will get over it fast, right? Yeah. Right.
Karen
So here’s some, just some stuff to throw out here. First of all, as of 2018, there are 12.3 million women owned businesses in the United States alone. Compare that to 1972, when there were only 402,000, women owned businesses, representing 4.6% of all firms. So we have in the entrepreneurial realm seen a giant surge in our representation in the world of women owned businesses. It says, here’s another one, the fastest growing segment of startup companies are women owned businesses, with businesses owned by black women having a larger share than white women than white women. And why has it been such an increase in women entrepreneurs, particularly with women of color, women report that starting their own businesses, enables them to break free from social constraints, that by being business owners, women can achieve financial independence without relying on the status quo. And in addition, when a woman runs her own business, she has a reduced chance of being harassed or attacked, except by email, right, she is able to have more, I will say that I have within the last couple of weeks, I did get a dick pic, which in my email inbox from somebody which I was extremely insulted about. But and that hasn’t happened in a while. I will say if it says a woman has more controlling influence over what happens in her life, which is the definition of power and independence than I would say for all of us as women entrepreneurs, that’s probably the number one reason why we went into business. But it’s not about hey, I want to control my environment. So I can take pictures of myself in front of my Rolls Royce. It’s been for most of us about, hey, I want to go into business for myself because I need to have a job where I’m off at three o’clock in the afternoon so that I can be available to my children. So that every evening my children can have a home cooked meal. And we can sit around the table and connect heart to heart because I know that’s the foundation I’m laying that’s a big part of the foundation, I’m laying for the future. I know that I have to have the freedom to be able to call my boss and say, Hey, I can’t be here today. I had to leave class in the middle of teaching last night because in the middle of my class, my middle daughter got into a car accident, and I had to go be able to have the freedom to say, Hey, I’m sorry, you guys, but I need to go help my kid figure out, you know, what do I do? Where what information do I need? How do I get my car towed? Because the car was totally demolished? And thank God she was okay. That’s that I’ve had the freedom to be able to take as much time as I can off to be off in the summer to hang out with my nine year old because that is the definition of freedom and power for me as a woman as a mother especially. And I think that when we define success, especially when we’re looking at success in business, we use parameters that are strictly material based. And we don’t look at the value of things like empowerment and freedom. And how do we create greater greater capacity in the business world to tap into that empowerment and freedom as women?
Michelle
So I want to say one thing about that too, because I think it’s important to understand that women can have the money that is associated with having a Rolls Royce. I believe that our community, the people that follow us, the people that we love our tribe, as it were, if you liked that word or not. But I believe that we would choose to do something a little different with the cash.
Karen
Oh, can I read you the next statistic?
Michelle
Yeah.
Karen
Women contribute a larger percentage of their earnings to social good than do men. One theory as to why this occurs is that women, particularly women of color, know that what it’s like to be ostracized and treated like an other in the business world, and they’ve experienced that inequality. Therefore, their business tends to be more socially responsible. In addition, women entrepreneurs tend to emphasize social value goals over economic value creation goals. There.
Michelle
Yeah.
Karen
By the way, I’m not where I’m trying to set this up as men versus women, although it feels that way. What I really think we have to be yes.
Michelle
So we’re allowed to talk about women today, even though we both have lots of men clients.
Karen
I don’t I don’t actually have very many men clients.
Michelle
Oh, I do.
Karen
I want in my recent survey that I did early last year. 92% of my clients are women.
Michelle
Wow. So I think it’s So I tend to have women in my groups and more male private clients, which is interesting. And that is interesting. And I don’t want to go into that today. Because we could, we could look at all of that, but I do think with it, so I don’t think it’s about women taking over. Right. But it’s everything that we’ve been leading up to the last cup, two or three years, about women who can step into being who they are, and not be apologetic about it and run their businesses from a place of power. Bleed mastermind masterminds tell their employees, both men and women, what they need, what they want work with a team, build empires and choose to buy a Rolls Royce or help the homeless in their own community. Right. So it is about women stepping up at a different place. So there’s always been powerful women, but I think it’s more accessible now.
Karen
Totally. Oh, totally. I mean, I would say, you know, you went to this marketing conference, how many women did you think were in the audience?
Michelle
Ah, so there were women in the audience, for sure. But, I mean, I’m just guessing I don’t have the stats in front of me, but it was maybe maybe 80% men.
Karen
Right. So that’s a that’s a big I will tell you that I, I have, I would not be where I am today, if it hadn’t been for the generosity of male entrepreneurs and business men in business. I was gifted about when when my first marriage fell out. My my first marriage fell apart. And I was really struggling financially. I won a scholarship to attend a big marketing event for free, and it was generously given to me by Rick Raddatz who is the creator of instant teleseminar. I got personalized coaching from, from Alex Mendoza, in whose tumors trying
Michelle
to think of the best you right, so it was
Karen
Alex Mentos in and, and it was, it was so generous with me. And I really learned what I learned in that short weekend, I have carried with me for 20 years and has served me that well, you know, that is continued to serve me. And I’m grateful. And I will tell you that if this giant giant conference, I think it was 12 years ago, maybe I was one of three women, and there were 1000s of men there. And it was very, very interesting to just sort of feel that energy and then recognize that my drivers for doing business wasn’t about what was driving these guys, they had goals, like, I want to be the first work at home billionaire. And I’m like, I don’t have that as a goal. I have a goal of wanting to feed my family, have a balanced life, be able to put my kids through school, and make sure that the work that I do has a deep and lasting impact on the heart of the planet. Now, I will tell you, as my children have matured, my goal around the impact I want to create in the world is has gone up, you know, proportionately, but I still am a mom at home, and I have aging parents now and an aging husband. And so, you know, to me, if I was successful without all of that being imbalanced, that wouldn’t be success for me that would be failing. And I think that’s that’s just a very different way of creating business. And, and I do think that sometimes we have to, we it ends up that we compromise on the material gain, because we can’t, it’s a little bit challenging to create it all the way across the board. completely aligned and balanced all the time. And that’s, that’s a it’s an interesting dance sometimes to play the, you know, how do we create money have impacted and still have dinner on the table dance?
Michelle
So give me give a couple of tools because I have something Yes, totally, like some tools that that women especially can use on International Women’s Day. Number one, be really cognizant of the fact that being busy doesn’t mean that you always get stuff done. And I think women go down this rabbit hole quicker in my experience, and this is generalization. So take what works for you here and these tips and tools we’re going to give you look and see whether the task that you’re doing or the busy work that you’re doing is distracting from the big goal. Now, there are people who are really good at tasks and details and need to get those things done. Just make sure it’s work. Getting toward a big goal. So you just to give an example, and we’re talking about marketing, you don’t have to go tweak every page on your website, if you’re trying to get opt ins just tweak the opt in page and fix the funnel. Yeah. And I think as women, we’re like, oh, now this is so pretty, or this is perfect. Let’s go make this other page perfect when it hasn’t, with our goal. So that’s the first tip, be really mindful about keeping the vision, the goal, the the result in mind when you’re doing your daily work. And that alone, I think, would help a lot of women get more done. Right? Do it at home, we do it at home, we got dishes, and then our kid falls, puts themselves in Christ. So we know exactly what’s important in that moment and what to go do in that moment. Right. But in work, I think we forget what’s what’s important. And we try to handle what we think is urgent or put out fires that may be real fires. Hopefully, not sometimes. So that’s my first tip. So I keep going. Yes, please do. So my my second one. And this is one I had to learn. And I think we all have to learn, which is, you know, get over ourselves. And so I know in human design that we have to respond or be invited and all those things. And so make sure that you’re following your type. And we worry so much about how does our hair look? What does our makeup look like? I hate the way I look, today is the scarf. Right? And, you know, this morning, the first thing I did when I got on with Karen, if you were here before we went live, was my lighting is off today, right? But we have to go do what we’re here to do in the world. And if we’re always second guessing ourselves, if we’re always trying to make it perfect. If we’re worried about what other people are going to think we’re never going to get on that big stage, we’re never going to finish that email auto responder, we are going to worry about getting our feelings hurt by someone who emails you back and says, Wow, you’re not a match for me, which is what I got last week, right? Karen, well, this person doesn’t like me. But you got to get over it. As women we take it in. And it’s just not a match. Right? Right. If there is a man. So I get this you guys get this too? I know you do. You get marriage proposals from men in uniform with two first names like John Paul, who lives in Portugal and his navy suit and you’ve never met him. It’s like, they’re beautiful. Please marry me. I have no problem saying no, thank you, right? Don’t know you’re not a match. But I get somebody who emails me and says not a match, I take it personally. Right, we have to get over ourselves. So that’s my second tip. And I say that was so much love. Because you push all of us to go do the work we’re meant to do in the world, even do it in perfect, and don’t know what we’re doing. And screw it up at the beginning. Because just like being a mom, we don’t know what we’re doing at the beginning.
Karen
We have to you don’t even know what you’re doing at the end. Let me just say that. But I just I just throw in there. You know, I did an interview recently, actually one of the interviews in our virtual think tank series, and I interviewed a man. And he showed up, his hair was sweaty, he was wearing a t shirt he had just come in from the gym. And he sat down to do the interview. And like, he didn’t care. And I’m thinking, oh my god, do you know how long it’s taking? I mean, I know I have this thing in my head about you gotta look a certain way for business and on camera and present yourself a certain way. I mean, I certainly I mean, I would not get off my bike and come downstairs and start doing videos, I would feel horrible. And I’m not necessarily saying that that’s the way we want to do it. And that’s also a personal preference, but it needs to be a personal preference. It needs to not be Oh, women have to look this way on camera. And a dude can just come in from the gym dripping with sweat and go hey, cool. Here I am. You know, we do that we have different standards. Okay, so
Michelle
I want to I want to respond to that, Karen because I think we as women want to look good and feel confident and feel ready to be out. And then you just do it. So I know that you you know like to look great. I like to look great, as great as I can. And then I’m like okay, this is as good as it gets. Let’s go, right? It’s not like oh, my hair didn’t do the curl thing this morning. So I’m not getting online. Facebook is like I got a show to do. I’m committed. Let’s go. So there’s a balance there. You’ve got confident I’m not asking anybody to get on live in their sweats unless that’s your branding. And that’s your thing. I’m not saying that I’m just saying Don’t let this illusion of perfection stop you from doing what you’re here to do in the world.
Karen
Yes, totally, totally. And I mean, the other pages that I think it’s adding to skills and, and things, and then I want to wind up and talk about the future of women in business, a great place for us to end. You know, I do think that, and I think the statistics bear this out, whether you’re working in a job, or whether you are running your own business, women tends to carry the bulk of the labor, in the home, in the childcare, even the emotional labor of holding it all together. I mean, just doing things like keeping the family calendar together, this not technically work, but it’s emotional labor. And I think that women, particularly women in business, are at a higher risk for burnout, particularly if you struggled to find that harmony, place where you are balancing work and family. And we always talk about balancing work and family, we never talked about balancing yourself care in that mix. As if that’s that’s something separate that you can take care of if the work family balance thing gets handled. Burnout is, I believe, based on the work that I’ve done in the last 20 years, the number one reason why small businesses fail, and it has nothing to do with capital, it has nothing to do with lack of education, it has nothing to do with anything except that when you start your own business, because it is an energy intensive process. If you don’t have the energy to bring to a business, you can’t make a success of the business. And it doesn’t matter. You know how clear your intentions are, if your energy is not there, because you’re depleted, because you’re either too into working two jobs, or you’ve got, you know, a lot of plays, that you’re juggling, and you’re not putting in the self care piece, it makes it very difficult to be successful. And, you know, I certainly would say that the most important thing for women to be sustainable in business is to have a religious self care practice, not a self care practices, religious, but a religious self care practice, meaning you got to be, you’ve got to have more of a commitment, I think, to your self care than before, because you have nothing to give if you’re depleted, and you cannot force your business into a cycle of success. If you are barely breathing. That’s, that’s huge. And I think we have a tendency as women to say, I’ll take care of myself, once I get X y&z handled, and it needs to, we need to flip that model that I can handle X, Y, and Z when my foundation is strong and grounded. And that is really a big reason why you and I teach in a retreat setting. Because we know that sometimes what we say to people doesn’t land if they’re not in that created rested space. Because if they’re trying to figure out, you know, how many times do we do calls coaching calls with women, and they’re like, you know, they’ve got the phone on one ear, and they’re like dealing with the kid in the background and the other year air and they’re like, texting and stuff with the other kid. And they’re like, you know, that’s the typical woman entrepreneur that we deal with. And sometimes when you’re in that hyper elevated state, you can’t hear what we’re giving you, or you can’t learn because you’re in fight or flight and you’re not in a creative response. And that that would be you know, I think, a very key thing to pay attention to. And I will say sometimes when we’re like, Well, how do I know if I’m burned out beyond the obvious, if you start to feel resentful, around any element, whether it’s your partner, your children, your clients, the the amount of work that you have to do resentment is sort of the barometer of where’s your energy at. And if you’re starting to really resent things, that’s a really important sign that you need to take a step back and reevaluate and recalibrate.
Michelle
So I want to ask you, Karen, so talk to talk to me about resentment in the last minute or two that we have here in relationship to human design. Because like, right, and as opposed to frustration or anger and how that is do we all have reason?
Karen
I think so. And I actually think resentment gets expressed differently according to type. So if you’re a manifester energy type, you’re going to feel angry because your creative flow got interrupted. If you’re, if you’re a manifesting generator or generator, you’re going to feel frustrated, because you’re not able to do what you want to do, because there’s too much stuff dragging behind you. If you’re a projector, you’re gonna feel better because it’s gonna feel like you’re putting all your energy into stuff, and it’s not working out the way that you thought it would. And it seems like it’s not working out the way it is for other people. And if you’re a reflector, you’re going to be disappointed because you’re gonna have a vision of what’s possible. And you’re going to expect that everybody’s on board with it in the same way that you are and you’re going to show up and it’s not going to be aligned because you haven’t had the time or the awareness of your person. It’ll self to be able to craft it the way you want. Great, thank you. So I just I just want to, I want to end with something thoughtful and inspiring. You know, there, if you followed micro loans and micro economies over the last 10 years, 20 years, there’s been a concept of seeding, seeding women and communities with small amounts of money to start business is something as simple as buying goats or buying seeds. And what the long term research has found is that when women gain economic power, particularly in in communities that are impoverished, that the quality of life for the entire community goes up as a result of women, entrepreneurship, that they have fewer children, their children are healthier, their children slowly start to gain access to better education, better nutrition, better opportunities, that the entire quality of life for wherever they’re living, whether it’s a city or a village or tribe, the entire quality of life goes up. When we as women do our work in the world, we don’t only benefit ourselves, but because we are as women, communal beings, we elevate the entire world that we can’t we come into contact with and that we impact. It is important, I think in this day is we stop and spend one day out of 365 focusing on women, that we pause, and we think about what can we continue to do as women entrepreneurs, as women in the world, as women in business, to continue to, to lay a path for other women to follow behind us. Because when we lift ourselves up, and we leave that path, we give a path for other women to lift themselves up as well. And it doesn’t just impact us, it impacts generations. And I do believe that the balance of what’s possible or the the potential of creating what’s possible in this world to finding the solutions, challenging humanity today, lays firmly in the heart in the hands of women.
Michelle
Thank you. You have anything else you want to add? No. So please, if you’re watching this live, please share it with to your tribe or your community or on your wall, your page or wherever. If you think that for Women’s International Day, someone else might be inspired by some of this. And we love you guys.
Karen
Yeah, go forth and do good work. Make this world an even better place. All right, I everywhere. I thank you Michelle.
Intro
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